"Where’s your common sense?
Where’s your common sense of decency?
You’ve become so sedentary, I mean,
You’re spending all damn day in your bed.
There’s a whole world spinning out there
And you’re wasting these hours and these nights
From all the smoke you’re taking into your lungs and your head.
When did a matchstick and shot glass define
The eternal youth that comes with being nineteen
And trying to handle life?
You look terrible coming out of your room,
Stumbling over the things you should’ve been doing.
Eyes spinning and blood thinning;
There aren’t enough pills or thrills to keep you satisfied,
So you decide
That weekends are better spent
Collecting dust and rust
On the end of a couch.
I don’t want to hear it,
Such god damn poor excuses,
It’s so fucking useless
You’re just too far gone.
You’re giving up before you’ve even tried,
You’re crippling any chance you had.
Well when you’ve figured out
This is not what you want,
Don’t come to me because
I fucking told you so from the start."
"We spent the last real day of summer
With ice cream sitting by the large pond in the park.
The sunset wasn’t as cliche as I wanted it to be,
But it did me justice since you cuddled up close because you were cold.
And when I kissed you I could almost taste
The rocky road and peanut butter fudge.
Your lips made me melt,
It was like my mouth had never known the sun.
We tried to find some fireflies but there were none
So we were content with laying in a patch of grass,
Pointing up into nothingness trying to play connect the dots with stardust.
I loved you and I loved us.
With crickets chirping you whispered me words
That dared to make my heart stop,
And my hands and knees locked up.
I wanted to hold you tight against my body
Until we could become something that the consistently inconsistent universe couldn’t touch.
But I couldn’t touch you,
And you understood that much.
So you gave me that sugar cone kiss one last time,
And we embraced the autumn in a sweet tooth coma."
"I want to know
If you sleep anymore.
I want to know if your head aches more than your heart does.
It’s hard to let you go
Because I know the way you should be loved
And how to love you better.
And I hope he loves you better
Than I guess I ever could.
I’m waiting for the sensation of skull against concrete
Or the earth to fall out from under my feet
Because the only guarantee I’m expecting
Is the one where I’m shattered into nothing.
I watch the week nights get lost in hour hands
While I’m wishing that our hands were still locked in the dark.
Are you with him now?
Skin finding new skin?
Or are you doing what I’m doing?
Ruining any chance you had of finding a dream?
Darling, don’t you know?
I don’t sleep anymore."
"I wonder what’s the most obvious shit I could write about
You in a poem so it sounds good when
You read it out loud.
Here’s the cliche ‘I love you’
And the ‘I hate missing you on the weekends’
But I miss you more on the weekdays if you must know.
Now that autumn’s here I’m pulling out all my old sweaters
From their plastic fetters in my closet.
A cycle of seasons couldn’t touch how the sleeves still breathe your bargain-brand shampoo,
And there are enough hairs here that I could make them into a bracelet of you.
Did that sound messed up?
Well I’m so messed up because I messed up
When I forgot to call you after your big exam last night.
I’m sorry because you’re so often the space in my mind,
I forget about the world outside.
When I was biking outside in the crisp September afternoon,
Our song hit me like a train through my headphones.
I stopped in the middle of the street to try and get a grip on all of my feelings.
I think of when we decided to get drenched in a rainstorm in the summer
When I wash the dishes for too long
And my hands have wrinkled under the water.
This new house won’t feel like home
Until you come over and we break in the back porch
Laying out and telling stories in the dark.
The most important thing I’ve learned in college
Is that correlation does not imply causation,
So these signs don’t necessarily imply that I miss you;
But I think they do.
I think they do."
"We wanted to become the sky
But all we could ever amount to be
Were raindrops falling back into the sea.
So we spent suburban weeknights finding our way back into the city.
Some days I can find you in the cracks of the sidewalk,
But my fear of broken spines and twisted ankles keeps me away.
And some days I can find you dripping out of old gutters,
Your pitter-patter stutter onto concrete memories.
Will you remember me when you spend summers by the lake?
Or am I another tally mark under ‘mistake’?
I never wanted us to be good,
I wanted us to be great.
Instead the floodwaters rushed over the gates,
And the foundations that held us together began to break.
The ocean doesn’t wait for our anchors,
So we drowned in the hurricane.
The winds whisked you away
And I haven’t seen you since.
I wonder how you’ve been
And lose myself in the thought of you from time to time.
Those days, I look up at the sky."
They tried to take you from me,
Bit by bit until you ceased to exist
In the crevices of my brain cells.
They tried to wipe you away
But didn’t realize you were branded into my veins
When we exchanged kisses in the October rain.
I kept saying “Stay.”
Even when you had to leave.
I could hear you crunching leaves with every step
Between your shoes,
Between your steps you said under your breath,
So when they took you out of my head,
They couldn’t do enough
Because they forgot to take you out of my chest.
You were and are my oxygen,
My chances of survival,
My salvation at best,
They tried to take you away from me
But I did not accept.
I expected them to tear into my flesh,
Snip every capillary and vessel,
Tear my muscle fibers to shreads.
I expected them to sever my spinal cord
And slit my nerve endings like threads,
Grind my bones into talcum and crush me so nothing could fight back.
They tried to take you away from me.
And when they did,
They had nothing left.
Not by a drunken nod
And then motioning to the bathroom for faux endorphins in a stall.
You look her in the eye and approach her, leaving your lips on her cheek
(Not her mouth or neck)
Because you don’t yet have her consent.
If she says “Yes.” You kiss her quietly so she remembers the way you could love her in silence.
Give her your poetry in pen,
So she knows where you messed up
And sees what you meant.
When you hold her, do it so that she is reminded that Adam gave up a piece of himself for Eve,
So that she knows without her against you
You are incomplete.
Leave her breatheless by midnight and tuck her frame with yours to paint a masterpiece by the dawn.
Make her believe that she breathes stardust and smiles sapphire.
Cook her the best breakfast of her life,
Even if that means just her favorite cereal brought to her in bed.
Try. Try. Try.
Love her as if her frown held your heart at knife-point.
Love her as if her smile were the gates to salvation.
I’d like to buy you flowers,
And take you out to a nice dinner over looking the river downtown
While our hands awkwardly touch from time to time;
I won’t know whether to kiss you and you won’t know
If my intentions are honest but I swear that they are.
Or we could spend an hour in your living room
Watching Chopped on your couch,
Miles of space between us as if Zeus would smite our bodies if we touched.
And when my mom calls me to ask for an errand, I’ll stutter step
Between a handshake and a hug;
You’ll laugh while my face burns red because you’ve been there before.
Or we could be this moment,
And I could be trembling underneath the weight of these words,
And you could take them to heart,
Letting them sink like a stone into the bottom of your chest.
I’ll reach for you,
And you won’t turn away.